1. Denial

No! Noooooooooo! No way, that can't be right? WTF?

2. Bargaining

It's not that bad, is it? Can we forge a working relationship in Congress to undo the division?

3. Anger

Crap! Crap damn crap! I hate ____ they are so _____ I wish they would _____. Crap!

4. Despair

Hello, Canada? Yeah, do you take reservations? No? Ok. Dang.

5. Acceptance

Oh man. At least I'm not gay, right? Oh man.