US Healthcare

American healthcare is split into 2 piles:

  • Face holes
  • Not face holes

Here's a quick FAQ/explainer:

What happens if I break my leg?
That's no face hole healthcare which most people here shorten to just "healthcare." That healthcare pays for most of your doctor visits. Talk to someone in the stethoscope and take a cast for your leg when you're done.

What if I need new glasses?
So those are face holes and since we have just the two options, anything involving your eyes isn't healthcare. You need a specific other version of healthcare that is strictly for eyeballs.

What if I chip a tooth?
Your teeth are located inside a face hole, so technically not healthcare, it requires something else entirely just for your mouth (also separate from the eyeball plan).

What if something goes wrong with my hearing?
It would be a classic rookie mistake to consider ears as some of your face holes and therefore not normal healthcare, but shockingly despite being holes on the sides of your face your regular, no face holes healthcare plan should cover it.

What is going on over there? Is everything ok?
This all makes sense. It's America. This is the best way on earth to stay healthy.