US Healthcare

US Healthcare
Photo by National Cancer Institute / Unsplash

American healthcare is split into 2 piles:

  • Face holes
  • Not face holes

Here's a quick FAQ/explainer:

What happens if I break my leg?
That's no face hole healthcare which most people in the US shorten to just "healthcare." That healthcare pays for most of your doctor visits. Talk to someone in a stethoscope and take a cast for your leg when you're done.

What if I need new glasses?
So those are face holes and since we have just the two options, anything involving your eyes isn't healthcare. You need a specific version of healthcare that is strictly for eyeballs.

What if I chip a tooth?
Your teeth are located inside a face hole, so technically not healthcare, it requires something else entirely just for your mouth (separate from any eyeball plan).

What if something goes wrong with my hearing?
It would be a classic rookie mistake to consider ears as some of your face holes and therefore not normal healthcare, but shockingly despite being holes on the sides of your face, your regular not face holes healthcare plan should cover it.

What is going on over there? Is everything ok?
This all makes sense. It's America. This is the best way on earth to stay healthy.