Asshole birds

Fuckin’ Juncos ate all the seed.

God, the Scrub Jays are THE WORST!

Yeah that hummingbird looks nice but he terrorizes the smaller ones. Total dick.

I have jealousy for friends that have a nemesis who is some kind of bird. And it’s usually not a single bird, but more often an entire species.

When I hear phrases like these from friends it’s a reminder that my priorities are somewhat out of whack.

I wish I had a bird nemesis!

I wish I watched my backyard garden enough that I not only noticed the birds, but could build a hierarchical list of species ranked by relative worth of bird, identifying the one I should hate.