A Whole Lotta Nothing Matt Haughey’s Personal Blog

By listening to this you acknowledge you are: Brian Davidson

I’ve been getting some annoying robot phonecalls recently on a daily basis. They always give me menu options to hear more, but never an option to tell them they got the wrong number (or some guy put down the wrong number). The robot leaves messages with half of their recorded message so when I was deleting a slew of them today I noticed one sounded very different from the rest, so I took a quick recording of it.

There’s something almost melodic in how the robot says the name and the message is pretty amusing in the way it reads like the worst EULA ever and that part of it sounds like the Miranda Rights being read to you.

Here it is, enjoy:

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Anyone that wants to download it and put some beats or throw it into a mix is welcome to this direct link to the file.

I had Radiohead, The Gloaming playing when I listened to this. Kinda interesting results, too lazy to sync it up and record it though.

Something like this was happening to Harper, and it turned out that somebody had been giving out her phone number when applying for (and then defaulting on) credit applications, etc. It sounds like BRIAN DAVIDSON may be giving out your phone number his own. You should try to find BRIAN DAVIDSON and tell BRIAN DAVIDSON to knock it off. Or at least call the creditor and tell them you are not BRIAN DAVIDSON.

When I got my first gen iPhone I was assigned a number from someone who had evidentally skipped town owing money to various people.

I got an absolute ton of automated calls like the above asking for him. It got to the point where I could recognize the various numbers that debt collection agency would use, so I could reject the calls without answering them.

Eventually when the debt got passed up the chain (or sideways or whatever), and a human called, I explained I wasn’t who they were looking for, he apologized, and that was the end of that.

(Almost as much fun as the telemarkers who call me, to tell me my car warranty is about to run out. I string them along for a bit, and then point out I don’t own a car. Wee!)

This is the greatest message that ever lived.