Someday very soon, you’re going

Someday very soon, you’re going to be watching some cheesy horror film or some cheesy crime drama show on TV whose story revolves around a crazed killer hunting the lead character, but using the internet instead of conventional means to get close. As the story approaches climax, an exchange much like the following will take place.

[camera pans down from lead character to a laptop, showing an on-screen message from killer stating that he is getting very close to killing them. lead character dials 911]

lead (on phone): Hello? Emergency?! A crazed homicidal maniac is stalking me!

operator: Where are you now? Can you see them?

[Cut to a montage of the lead explaining the killer’s tactics and threats to the operator for a minute or so, operator patches in specialized police detective]

lead (on phone): Oh god, I just got another message that I should fear for my life!

detective (phone): Ok, we’re running a trace on that…we’ve captured some packets, we’re just doing a quick lookup to trace it…

lead: Yeah? And? Am I safe?!

detective: We’re finally getting something. Oh god, you won’t believe…

lead: What!? What on earth is it?!

detective: Get out of the house!

lead: What? Why?!

detective: Drop the laptop and leave! We intercepted the message and traced the IP adress. The killer’s message originated from your local network. Repeat! They are on your network!

Really, it’s not a matter of if you’ll ever see this, but when.

Or, it just might be a scene from my upcoming hit musical, Night of the living wardrivers.