I spent about 15 hours

I spent about 15 hours driving during the past 48 hours, and a couple thoughts came to me in that time. Long drives are great for conjuring up big ideas.

1). If society made one small change, we would be living in everlasting peace, with boundless prosperity, and experiencing eternal kindness to one another. Simply base all countries’ forms of currency on the doughnut.

“Say, how much is a haircut?”
“Four doughnuts”
“Great, and here’s a doughnut hole for your trouble”

“Today’s payday, here’s your check.”
“Woo hoo! 384 doughnuts!”

I’m telling you, war and famine would be a thing of the past.

2). Seeing a few dozen “United We Stand” billboards and bumperstickers on the highway got me thinking… what the hell is Hawaii doing halfway across the South Pacific? Did you know that Alaska is just miles from the coast of Russia? That’s not united! From this day forward, I am choosing to no longer recognize Hawaii or Alaska as members of the United States. You want to be part of this country? Move your goddammed state next to the rest of them.