Did you realize it’s the

Did you realize it’s the year 2001 now? We live in the goddammed future! Robotic dogs, computerized cars, intelligent global information networks, and yet… we’re still stuck with toast. With all the recent improvements in the fields of microprocessors, wireless technologies, and robotics, why haven’t there been advances in speeding up the browning of bread?

For the love of god, we can slow down the speed of light. Why in the hell can’t we speed up toast?!

You think the Jetsons had to wait for toast? The Millenium Falcon was able to make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs, you think Han and Chewie waited five minutes for a bagel each morning?

Processors can approach 2Ghz, wireless broadband can be ubiquitous, we can have personal devices capable of playing mp3s, recording hours of video, taking photographs, doing your taxes, getting your email, and telling you your global position, but I will not be impressed.

Not until I can get something toasted in less than 30 seconds.